Over the years, I’ve been on my fair share of dates. Some good, some bad, some completely ugly. At the end of each one comes the time for both parties to decide if they want to see each other again. This can quickly turn into a sticky situation if one person really likes other and their feelings aren’t returned. If you’ve been single for any length of time, you’ve probably experienced this. When you put yourself “out there” to go on a date and someone doesn’t like you in the same way you like them, it can feel like you’ve been rejected (probably for reasons you’re not quite clear on) and this can be disappointing and even a small blow to your ego.
The truth is that there is no rejection, there is only selection. If your date doesn’t want to see you again, it just means he/she is not a good fit for you. That’s it. You don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with you, so it’s better to learn now that something isn’t working than later on when you have 3 kids and a mortgage. That means that the “rejection” you receive is just pointing you towards “selecting” something better for yourself.
This happens in business as well. When you quit your regular job and you put yourself on the line as a small business owner and you get rejected, it can be painful. And you know what it feels like to be rejected if you’ve experienced the following…
When a client doesn’t want to sign up for your program
When people buy a competitor’s product over yours
When a company rejects your presentation proposal
When an art gallery won’t show your work
When you get a bad review
When practically no one buys your new book
All of these rejections are just part of the selection process. This means that any “no”, “not now”, “I’ll think about it”, “sorry, but…” responses you receive are pointing you in the direction you need to go.
Just like you don’t want to date anyone who isn’t as excited about you as you are of them, you also don’t want to work with anyone who doesn’t whole-heartedly want to work with you. If a client doesn’t want to sign up for your program, then he/she is not the right client for you (this took me a long time to learn). If people are buying your competitor’s product, you have an opportunity to figure out how to make yours better. If a company doesn’t want you to come speak to their employees, you don’t want to work with that company. If a gallery rejects your artwork, you can find a gallery that’s a better fit for what you do.
You don’t urgently need a certain client/company/gallery/venue/customer because there are plenty more out there. You are not desperate. Even though it might feel like it at times, you are not. You have time to “select” exactly what you want for your life and your business.